The Back Stage Bus
Bio[]
The Back Stage Bus is an ingenious double-decker vehicle constructed out of the shell of an old car. Within the car's frame is a donkey, the power source. When a feedbox is opened, the donkey trots forward. The animal stops when the feedbox is closed, and goes backwards when its tail is pulled. The crew consists of Jackie, the president, vice-president, and conductor, "Megaphone" Mickey, the silver-tongued announcer, Ernie, the licensed engineer, and Farina, the motorman.
Jackie collects the fares, and decides whether the offerings are sufficient for rides. Mickey points out the schoolhouse, which he hopes burns, and the Jones' house, home of the Joneses. Ernie telephones instructions to Farina, in a small compartment, indicating when to open and close the feedbox. Farina is wont to fall asleep, in which case Ernie wakes him by turning a crank at the front of the bus which shakes the seat Farina is sitting on. Another control by Ernie is pulling a cord that brushes the donkey's rear and makes him shout "HEE HAW," an effective horn.
Jackie's cap actually spells "Cundocter."
A sign on the bus might say "Don't monkey with the donkey." Another sign says "Avnue 16 Siteseeing Bus," and other signs indicate "Enter here" and "Exit."